Sliced and Diced

I had five abdominal surgeries in six months in 2006. It was torture to me. The pain, the not being in control of what happens to me, being vulnerable, being seen naked-especially by people I work with, the fear, not being able to work, everything! New Years 2007 I had the resolution to not be cut open in 2007. I made it, just barely. I am scheduled for surgery on January 3, 2008 (the day after my birthday). I know I need it, I am reminded nearly every hour of every day.

I found a different surgeon. Some people have told me that I had three too many surgeries (everything potentially could have been fixed with the second surgery-but it wasn't) I haven't held that against him, but he called me at home and asked if I were angry at him since I'm going to a different surgeon. I told him I thought he should be happy not having to cut me open again. In 2006 when he told me he had to do a fifth surgery he asked me if we were 'still friends', I told him friends don't cut me open for money. But, I'm not mad at him-shit happens. I know he would much rather it had worked out for me with less surgery.

I will be in the hospital for a week and out of work for a month. I'm much better prepared for it this time. The hospital is almost two hours away from my home. I pray that this is my last surgery. I think it's pretty ironic that I start 2008 with something I resolved not to do in 2007. Maybe I will resolve to only have ONE surgery in 2008.